Once again I find myself in that paradoxical moment where I feel the pressures of life crashing down on me when all I want to do is live out my fantasies; the realities of living are almost too suffocating. The butterflies in my stomach never cease when I think of packing another suitcase, when I think of traveling, when I think of living elsewhere. Giddy is the word that describes the feeling best. Love is a strong word, but also the word that describes my deep desire to make a go of it in Latin America. When? You ask. Why not now? I respond. Oh, that's right -- reality hovers like one of those dark rainy cartoony clouds over my head.
And where is God in this equation? Handy at my beck and call, but it's one of those deals where I get pissed off and feel like screaming: What the $%^*# is going on and how are you going to work any of this out for their good? How is heartbreak supposed to solve anything? Heartbreak when the cause is family is maybe ten-thousand times the pain. It's like comparing the cracks in the desert sand to the crack of a recent earthquake.
But how do we rate our dreams then? How do we go about living while putting everything we want out of our own life on the back-burner? Easy. Attribute it to love and a little bit of "the crazies" in our brains and souls. If anything can drive anyone crazy it's love. I heard SomeWhere that love is stronger than death and there are an awful lot of people who are crazy paranoid about death and go darn crazy dwelling on it and doing crazy things to avoid it. If this is the power of the simple thought of death, which is supposed to be natural and "a part of life," what is the subsequent power of love and the overwhelming desire to attain it and even more dangerous desire to sacrifice everything for it?
And where is God in this equation? Handy at my beck and call, but it's one of those deals where I get pissed off and feel like screaming: What the $%^*# is going on and how are you going to work any of this out for their good? How is heartbreak supposed to solve anything? Heartbreak when the cause is family is maybe ten-thousand times the pain. It's like comparing the cracks in the desert sand to the crack of a recent earthquake.
But how do we rate our dreams then? How do we go about living while putting everything we want out of our own life on the back-burner? Easy. Attribute it to love and a little bit of "the crazies" in our brains and souls. If anything can drive anyone crazy it's love. I heard SomeWhere that love is stronger than death and there are an awful lot of people who are crazy paranoid about death and go darn crazy dwelling on it and doing crazy things to avoid it. If this is the power of the simple thought of death, which is supposed to be natural and "a part of life," what is the subsequent power of love and the overwhelming desire to attain it and even more dangerous desire to sacrifice everything for it?
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