What an occupation can do

It's so incredible that after almost 2 years of idleness I will be starting a whole new work life, and after only 2 days of training I enjoy the material, know the basics and have memorized several of the imperative details. I never knew so much rides on this thing we call the Market, and I definately didn't know that there were so many Acts of congress, rules, laws, regulations and acronyms involved...

But that's not why I sit down to my beloved blog tonight. There has been a lot on my mind in recent weeks, and these past few days have been spent trying to orient my brain and my heart. I don't think I've been successful in this, but I do know one brand new original thing that I'm sure I and everyone else already knew: those flutteries in your middle don't mean you're in love. How do I know? I got those feelings today and I can't be in love, but I can say that when I saw what I saw to make my middle all fluttery, all I wanted to do was throw myself at...

Columbia.

Ok, now everyone is wondering, 'what the heck?' Me too!! I wonder how I can watch 20 minutes - the leftovers - of an hour long special on Columbian travels and get all bent out of shape, emotional, excited, pumped to go there ..and then the next hour long special is on Chile (of all places least desired to visit in the world except to get to Easter Island) and practically nod off into my own drool with boredom.

What is it then? Adventure? Mystery? The suposed "forbidden-ness" of the country? Really, I wanted to meet the people, talk, understand the culture so well obscured; discuss politics, religion, God, philosophy, sorrow and joy, and most of all, their experiences as victims unable to step even outside their own neighborhood without the fear of being murdered. But even more than that, I want to immerse myself in it, become a part of it, live it, understand it not from good conversation, but from experience.

Am I crazy? probably.
Will I do it? doubtful.
And the flutteries? likely they will go away.
So what then? I'll have to orient my brain and my heart first.