Mexico, again.

You can take the woman out of Mexico, but you can't take Mexico out of the woman!!

I'm back from only five full days in Mexico, but it was five days of serious reflection and consideration. The first day was difficult, and I admit that I felt out of place. The second day went much better and they began to give me more responsibility. By the third day I was having dinner with one of my good friends and her family (cemitas and taquitos), confiding in my roomie and vice versa, learning the ropes, and hearing from God.

As I worked, God also worked something out in me. Through some conversations and a renewed sense of what I truely love, I feel that He showed me the simplicity of the situation. That there was nothing more than a decision to be made, and it's up to me to make it. Whether I stay and work here, or follow my passion and work there, God will bless my work if it's purpose is to glorify Him.

Emily version 1.0 would have thought, "no! it can't possibly be this simple. Why aren't there fireworks, and writings on the wall, and a pillar of smoke to guide me and show me the exact next step toward God's will for my life?" Today's Emily is at peace with her God and with her future. I'm not anxious or worried about what to do, I know what to do. Regrettably, I think I always knew what to do and I've thrown myself into so many other things that I forgot about it. It came to me in the words of a friend in Mexico, words I'd heard before but I didn't know what they meant until recently: "pray it through."

I think there is a huge chasm of difference between "praying about it" and "praying it through." So instead of mentioning it to God here and there in my quiet times, I am going to bug Him about it. I insist that it becomes possible, I insist that little Josh, Asha and Jacob grow up in the Spirit. I insist that Mom can help them without me. I will bug Him about relationships, support and opportunities.

I've been learning what prayer means. D.L. Moody's daughter said it best in the form of a catechism when she was only nine years old. "Prayer is an offering up of our desires unto God for things agreeable to his will, in the name of Christ, with confession of our sins and thankful acknowledgement of his mercies." So from this point on I offer up my (agreeable) desires to Him, I ask in Jesus' name, and keeping my heart transparent and humble before Him, I thank Him for all that He is.