(Originally posted 9/29/10)

Back again from Mexico. My fourth visit and God chose now to speak to me about living a life of obedience in Puebla.

The team arrived and was treated extremely well, to the point where the men were complaining that it felt more like a vacation, and nearly insisted that we begin work that Sunday afternoon. They weren't about to have another tour of a rainy market. Their wish was granted with only a day's delay, and henceforth we worked for four days straight, shoveling, interpreting, dumping, hauling, pounding, adjusting, and perfecting the future basketball court for the children of Living Hope International.

Jerry McNally's vision has reached as far as an expected move date of December (God-willing). He plans for the worst and hopes for the best, and those volunteers who work with him are committed to the children and to his vision. I felt that a basketball court didn't seem like a big deal, but when we consider that the most room these kids have to currently move around in is partly a basketball court, soccer field, playground, and parking lot, my outlook brightens on my seemingly small, but back-breaking contribution.

It was an interesting road from a literal mud pit to a fully perfected, graded, flat, hard basketball court. We had help, and sometimes we didn't. We didn't wait long the first day for the twelve tons of cement to be dumped, and the following day we waited three hours. We had sufficient materials, but we sort of didn't. We set up a tent to protect the work, and the thousand-pound free-standing, iron footed "protection" was dragged along the most recent slab by hurricane force winds. A dog decided to trot along our first not-yet-dry project, and then a spider decided it looked like fun. The dog made out fine and probably learned her lesson, but the spider ended up solidified in his tracks like Lot's wife.

As God calls me forth, to work and labor with Esperanza Viva, I take God's command to heart: "don't look back.

Are You Talking to Me? -- Women in the Church

This has been the hardest to write, and I admit I tabled the subject for some time because I don't feel like anyone will listen or care, or at most they will simply come up with all kinds of reasons why I'm wrong. So, after long deliberation, and letting go of my fear of man, here we are.

Let me begin by saying that I am not a feminist, that I understand as well as the next God-fearing woman that we fulfill different roles than men do. We are physically weaker, more maternally oriented, less brute, we shave our armpit hair, etc. That being said, I have to say that while a woman wants to feel protected by a man, she does not want to feel demeaned by him for the simple fact that she is a woman. I also want to be honest in saying that I don't know all the answers, that I'm not positive of all that I'm about to say, but I at least have a brain (that works!) to question what's been accepted as law - or unspoken rule.

I want to take you all down a logical road. Starting with the word "Law." Mentioned a billion times in Scripture, it was taken to mean "Scripture" when it could have meant traditional Jewish law, the new "law of the covenant," and most often, the law of Moses, or the Old Testament.

I. Traditional law vs. Biblical Law

A. Distinguishing between these is imperative to understanding the Bible; this is mainly demonstrated by Jesus' consistent breaking of Jewish traditional laws. The best example on this topic is the woman at the well.

John 4:7-9 " When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, "Will you give me a drink?" (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, "You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?" (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)

Traditional Jewish law forbade men to even address a woman:

"A man should ever avoid women; thus he should never make any gestures at them, either with his hands or his feet, nor wink at them, nor jest with them… A man must not greet a woman under any circumstances, and he is forbidden to send his regards to her even through her husband” (Ref. 1)

So here is Jesus breaking traditional rabbinical law, not simply deviating from Jewish prejudice by talking to a Samaritan, but by breaking (in repeated other incidences, too) the law of the Jewish nation. This woman became the first among missionaries carrying the news of the arrival of the Christ to her Samaritan town. She was not scorned for her declarations, for her Witness, (also, highly unheard of) instead they listened to her and went to Him.

B. In the early church, there were traditional rules that were followed in the name of propriety, but was considered as beneath the Law of God. Even today, certain traditions, mentioned in scripture, are not considered relevant. Let me explain since I sounded like a heretic just now.

1. Head covering

1 Cor 11:6 "If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head."

(Vs 11-15) "In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering."

So here is Paul's reason that women don't wander around with scarves on their heads anymore, but I want you to understand how serious it was that Paul allows this seemingly trivial thing: The removal of the symbol of Eve's shame. Understand, this was not law, traditional or otherwise, except for Paul. He was from the Assyrian city of Tarsus. Assyrian Law required all women to cover their heads in public with "a shawl or a robe or a mantle," with the exception of prostitutes, who are forbidden to cover their heads (ref 2)

Essentially, I think Paul was freaking out in these Roman towns where new Christians thought wearing a head covering was optional. Not because Christ had revealed to him on the road to Damascus that Christian women should cover their heads, but because he came from a background where only prostitutes walked around without one!

2. Silence in the church

1 Cor 14:33-35 "For God is not a God of disorder but of peace. As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church."

Again, if you know the makeup of the traditional temple gatherings, and subsequent church gatherings, the women and men sat on complete opposite sides of the sanctuary. That means if a woman had a question - this same woman who is not allowed by law to speak in public - she would interrupt the ceremonies to lean over her pew and likely in an obnoxious loud-whisper ask her husband - the only male person she's allowed to talk to - whatever it was she needed answers for.

1 Tim 2:11-15 "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety."

With regard to speaking in public, the Jewish traditional law stated that women were not allowed to participate in public affairs. Eastern women could take no part in public life. This was true of Judaism in the time of Jesus, in all cases where Jewish families faithfully observed the Law.

This is all clearly cultural, and has been recognized as old-fashioned by culture as we know it. Everything from the Sufferage to a woman running for President, the code is no longer valid where I live. Paul was all things to all people, and chose his battles. Yet, for this man who lived his entire life under Assyrian and Jewish law that forbade women to participate in public affairs, it makes perfect sense that he could vehemently preach that a woman should not participate in the teaching of men. GOD didn't say that women shouldn't preach or teach. GOD appointed Deborah to act as judge over the entire nation of His people. By the time Jesus rolled into town, matters had changed. It was a cultural code to treat women like possessions rather than people with the same (and many times advanced) ability to think, that if not followed would lead to certain chaos. God is a God of order, and in order to keep the peace, Paul saw the danger of treating women the same way Jesus did (as equals). Not in heavenly realms, but in the worldly.

C. Women in leadership

1. There existed women apostles, and women leaders in Scriptural texts. Deborah is one of the major ones mentioned in the Book of Judges. I always go back to God's own words: "I the Lord do not change." If He can appoint a woman to judge men, men we know and understand as "God's people," can He appoint women to other positions of authority? These words force me to answer in the affirmative. Absolutely. Probably. Beware the woman that does not heed Him when He calls her.

2. Apart from Deborah, Paul addresses several women as his co-workers, and at least one woman is named as "most prominent among the apostles," Junia, in Romans 16.

Rom 16:7 Greet Andronicus and Junia, my countrymen and my fellow prisoners, who are of note among the apostles, who also were in Christ before me.

Fun fact, in the original text the noun "Junia" is unquestioningly feminine (ref 3), but there are several translations into English that turned the original feminine noun to a masculine... likely for the reasons I write about now. Before you get excited about the "countryMEN," political correctness is a thing of the 90s. Plural nouns in Greek are not treated as we do now, therefore "countrypeople" would not have existed in ancient Hebrew.

3. Which leads the logical thinker (I got As in my Intro to Logic course) to understand that [A] Paul knew God is a God of order. [B] Giving a woman authority over a man, back then, would have produced a high state of disorder. [C] Paul's admonishment was not due to foundational belief, it was out of sheer concern for the health of the church.

D. Women are expected to hold equal spiritual status as men.

1. Joel 2:29 Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days.

2. Luke 20:35-36 But those who are considered worthy of taking part in that age and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God's children, since they are children of the resurrection.

3. 1 Cor 7:34 ...An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

I pray that these verses speak for themselves. Basically, women are expected to participate in the spiritual outpouring, which may or may not include the gift and responsibility of teaching, preaching, or apostleship. Men vs. women means nothing in Heaven, therefore in spiritual matters, it should mean nothing here on earth. An unmarried woman is not distracted from devoting herself to the Lord in Body and Spirit. Her job is not to wait around meekly for a husband. It is to devote herself to loving God, serving His people within her means and qualifiations.



References:

0. The Bible (New King James Version)

1. Ganzfried S. Translated by Hyman Goldin. Code of Jewish Law. Volume IV, Chapter 152, Verses 8,9, Hebrew Publishing Company, NY, 2004, p. 20.

2. Pritchard, Ancient Near Eastern Texts, (p. 183). Bible-Researcher.com

3. Strong's Concordance

You Talking to Me? The Holy Spirit

The pentecostal coming of the Holy Spirit was prophesied in the OT. I’d like to take some time here. Rather than citing a bunch of scattered verses here and there, let’s take a quality moment to read through the context of one of these prophesies.

• Joel 2:28a, “And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh.”

There is the all important word to consider, “afterward.” To find out what the prophet, Joel, is talking about we’ll have to rewind a bit. Chapter 1 talks about desolation, “Surely joy has withered away from the sons of men” (Vs 12). He says that everyone should assemble and cry out to the Lord because “the Day of the Lord is at hand; It shall come as destruction from the Almighty” (Vs 15).

Then, the first part of chapter 2 describes the army of God. It’s a pretty fearsome army, but doesn’t sound like anything human eyes have ever witnessed, rather it seems he is describing a heavenly army, a supernatural one. They are the kind of people “the like of whom has never been” and will never be reproduced (Vs. 2), which implies they are eternal beings. Fire goes before them and behind them (Vs. 3), their appearance is like that of horses (Vs.4), the sun, moon and stars all grow dark with their coming (Vs. 10), so we can only assume they are either blocking the view to the heavens, or overpowering it with their heavenly fire. Finally the verse that announces it outright:

• Joel 2:11, “The LORD gives voice before His army, For His camp is very great; For strong is the One who executes His word. For the day of the LORD is great and very terrible; Who can endure it?

The “One who executes His word” can only be one Man, and not just because the “O” is capitalized. Jesus came and executed the prophecies (the word) of the Old Testament. Side note: speculation continues about the term “Day of the Lord." I believe that there are more than one Day of the Lord, and when the term is used in Scripture, usually it is accompanied by "watch out." In this case, I believe the battle, this Day, coincides with the resurrection and what will happen in the spiritual realm at that time. Since this heavenly army is leaving a path of destruction in their wake, we can only assume the enemy is spiritual and horrendous - this is confirmed in later verses.

Then God speaks up, calling everyone to repentance, declaring He is merciful, slow to anger, and He “relents from doing harm” (Vs. 13). Then the bridegroom, who is the NT Christ, and the bride, who is the NT church, are called from their chambers, and the priests weep for God to spare His people (Vs. 16,17). God pities them and answers,

• Joel 2:19 “Behold, I will send you grain and new wine and oil, and you will be satisfied by them; I will no longer make you a reproach among the nations.”

In Jewish culture the “grain offering” did not consist of raw grain. In this context it most probably refers to the grain used, finely ground into flour, mixed with oil, and then made into unleavened bread for this pleasing offering. Wine, in the New Testament, is best known as the unmistakable representation of His saving blood. Oil is used for anointing, which is directly associated with the Holy Spirit. God will send grain, the pleasing offering, Christ’s body, new wine, the blood of Christ, and oil, the anointing of the Spirit of God.

Grain

• Leviticus 2:4-6, “And if you bring as an offering a grain offering baked in the oven, it shall be unleavened cakes of fine flour mixed with oil, or unleavened wafers anointed with oil. But if your offering is a grain offering baked in a pan, it shall be of fine flour, unleavened, mixed with oil. You shall break it in pieces and pour oil on it; it is a grain offering.”

Wine

• Matthew 26:28,29, “Then He took the cup [the traditional Seder drink is wine], and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. For this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.”

Oil / The Holy Spirit

• I Samuel 16:13a, “Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers; and the Spirit of the LORD came upon David from that day forward.”

• Luke 4:18a, “And He was handed the book of the prophet Isaiah. And when He had opened the book, He found the place where it was written: The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, because He has anointed Me” (written in Isaiah 61:1,2)

• I John 2:27,"But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, and is true, and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you will abide in Him.”

• John 14:26, "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”

Getting back to our passage in Joel chapter 2, we’ve established that there will come a great day of judgment, but that God was merciful toward His people. He goes on to say that He will remove us far from the enemy, drive him away into a desolate land, “And his foul odor will rise, because he has done monstrous things” ( (Vs. 20).

• John 3:17, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.”

He saves us, declares we will always be satisfied and praise the name of the Lord. (Vs 26). After the coming of the Christ, and the rescue that the Hebrew people have been waiting for since they first heard of a coming Messiah, yet there is more. Much more.

• Joel 2:28-32, “And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh; Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions. And also on My menservants and on My maidservants I will pour out My Spirit in those days. And I will show wonders in the heavens and in the earth: Blood and fire and pillars of smoke. The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the coming of the great and awesome day of the LORD. And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the LORD Shall be saved. "

The coming of the Holy Spirit who was prophesied in the OT came to “all flesh” in Acts chapter two. The Holy Spirit fell on the Apostles assembled and they began to speak in tongues. I’d like to point out briefly that I was not previously aware that it was the exact prophesy of Joel that was quoted by Peter in his first sermon to the witnesses (Acts 2:17-21). I went to bed last night a little dejected when I read the last lines about the moon turning to blood. That sounds a lot like the end of days, no? The moon never turned to blood in the gospels... I prayed last night, asking Him what my next step should be, and if this study of Joel was moot. I left it up to Him, trusting Him, and this morning I sensed the Holy Spirit had led me to read through the Pentecost again before scratching the whole thing. That was when I found, glaringly obvious, that Peter spoke of the Holy Spirit’s Pentecostal outpouring by quoting the exact Scripture we are going through today. Small point, maybe will awaken the critic in some, but to me, a huge encouragement.

The bit about the moon turning to blood, maybe it’s figurative, or maybe it will really happen before the Second Coming. I’m comfortable with that mystery, and I’ve stated before that this interpretation will focus on the facts.

The facts are these: Joel said the Spirit would pour out on all flesh, and Peter confirmed that this was indeed what had happened at Pentecost. Which brings us to our final blow.

What does it have to do with you or me? I think there’s more. Realigning the focus now, begins with the original descent of the Holy Spirit in Acts. After Peter declares all of what Joel said concerning the outpouring, including “that whoever calls on the Name of the Lord shall be saved,” he goes on to discuss what it all means to you and me.

• Acts 2:32-33, “This Jesus God has raised up, of which we are all witnesses. Therefore being exalted to the right hand of God, and having received from the Father the promise of the Holy Spirit, He poured out this which you now see and hear.”

• Acts 2:38-39, “Then Peter said to them, “Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call.”

I may as well end this surmise here. The witnesses of the Pentecostal outpouring of the Holy Spirit saw that they were preaching, and the foreigners were hearing them speak “each in their own tongue,” They also re-heard the prophecy of Joel promising that this outpouring would lead to dreams and visions. This is the gift of the Holy Spirit, that is what they heard and saw, and that is what is promised to “as many as the Lord our God will call.”

• Romans 8:28, "28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

If you love God, you are called.

You Talking to Me? The Scripture

I. Credibility

First thing I wanted to be clear on. I do not have a degree, I did not do any extensive or scholarly research before now, I do not have any stake in the outcome of these studies. I have decided to simply take this seriously, and through it I will not be cutting corners or taking Scripture out of context. This study is going to take Scripture apart, analyze, compare, pick apart verses, uncover meaning, and unravel mysteries behind the everyday scriptural factoid, (whose definition is “an invented fact believed to be true”). The purpose of this is to challenge you to look beyond what you see, to challenge your motives for believing what you do - or don’t -, and to teach you to look at Scripture in a truly fresh way.

A friend was kind enough to remind me that there is indeed only one interpretation of the Scripture, but there are many applications. That being said, understand that I will be doing my best to avoid the gray areas, and focus mainly on the facts. Keep in mind I am writing to an audience whose statement of faith roughly states that The Old and New Testaments were inspired by the Holy Spirit, are without error, and are the final authority in every age.

II. Reliability of the Old Testament

First, let’s establish why it is we believe Scripture to be the end-all be-all of Christianity. One of the most amazing things (to me there are many), is how accurate Scripture is - Old Testament and New alike. So amazing that if we were to put it in numbers, like mathematician/professor/scholar, Pete Stoner did in his book Science Speaks, we would find the impossible is in fact possible. In his book he shares his calculations based on eight specific prophecies, he references each one in the OT, and illustrates that Christ fulfills them through His birth, life, ministry, and death.

1. The Messiah will be born in Bethlehem (Micah 5:2)
2. A messenger will prepare the way for the Messiah (Malachi 3:1)
3. The Messiah will enter Jerusalem as a king riding on a donkey (Zechariah 9:9)
4. The Messiah will be betrayed by a friend and suffer wounds in His hands (Zechariah 13:16)
5. The Messiah will be betrayed for 30 pieces of silver (Zechariah 11:12)
6. The betrayal money will be used to purchase a potter's field (Zechariah 11:13
7. The Messiah will remain silent while He is afflicted (Isaiah 53:7)
8. The Messiah will die by having His hands and feet pierced (Psalm 22:16)

The chances of a man fulfilling Stoner’s eight specific prophecies? According to his calculations, 1 in 100,000,000,000,000,000. I don’t even know what to call this number in real words. It would appear that the Word of God so far does not leave anything to chance. If there were even the slightest probability that Jesus were not the Messiah, I’m convinced we never would have heard of Him.

III. Reliability of the New Testament

A. Christ and the Gospels

After establishing the infallibility of the OT, and Christ’s fulfillment of the Word through the Gospels, a Christian is hard pressed to question the words of Christ, especially since He is the Word of God, the personification of the Scriptures. This is seen nowhere more clearly than in John’s Gospel.

• John 1:1, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

Not to draw this out, since you’ve probably heard all this before, but admit it, it would be nice to have Scripture references and the linguistic breakdown. Verse 1 says the Word (logos) is God. Verse 14 goes on to say that logos was made flesh - Jesus.

The Old Testament Hebrew translation for “Word,” is dabar. The translation of dabar into Greek is, not shockingly, logos. In the OT, when it is used in conjunction with Yahweh it’s literally “The Word of God.” John isn’t messing around. He is talking about the Old Testament’s proclamations of the Messiah, the Alpha (“in the beginning was the Word”) and Omega (“the Word was God”). Jesus is literally the personification of the Hebrew Scriptures.

• Revelation 19:13 “He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God.”

For fun, let’s compare an OT verse with one from the NT. I’ll let you do your own deducing.

• Psalm 33:6-7 “By the word of the LORD (dabar+Yahweh = logos+ Theos) the heavens were made, And all the host of them by the breath of His mouth.”
• John 1:1,-3 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God (logos+Theos = dabar+Yahweh). He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.”

Jesus is not only worth listening to, if we heed Him, we are heeding the Holy breathed Word of the Lord.

B. The Acts and the Epistles

I admit readily that there is no verse that I’ve found that says, “All NT scripture is valid and applicable to all generations past, present, and future,” but if there is anyone that we should be listening to apart from Jesus, it is those who perpetuated His ministry through the Holy Spirit.

1. God’s character never changes. Who He was in the Genesis is who He was in the New Testament and He remains the same today.

• Job 23:13, “But He is unique, and who can make Him change? And whatever His soul desires, that He does.”
• Malachi 3:6a, “For I am the LORD, I do not change.”
• Hebrews 13:8, “Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today, forever.”

2. Christ is in us. If He remains the same, and God does not change, it is safe to assume that the Holy Spirit could never change. The Gospel of the Holy Spirit is depicted throughout the book of Acts, and if we take seriously the idea that our God never changes, He is the same Spirit indwelling Christians today. The same Spirit that Jesus promised to the original twelve. The same Spirit that was promised in the OT books of the prophets.

• John 14:16 “And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever.”
• Joel 2:28, "And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh.

The God of the Law of Moses didn’t switch up His strategy until Jesus arrived (blood everywhere with sacrifices and circumcision, etc). Jesus, when He was here on earth, didn’t really deviate from His routine (He barely even left the neighborhood, talked a lot and performed miracles). Reasonably, the ministry of the Holy Spirit shouldn’t look any different from that found in the Acts (this will be discussed in further detail in a later study).

3. Consider our faith in the Bible as a whole, if you are a Christ-follower. Using the God-given powers of reason, if we believe the Spirit of God inspired the words of the NT, it is by default just as reliable as the OT, and now more since it contains the red pill of no-turning-back-Truth: The new covenant of the blood of Christ.

4. The Council of Nicaea met well over three hundred years after Christ died. If the council were divinely appointed it would have edited out the non-applicable letters of the NT. Or, if they found the Gospels, any of the letters, or Revelation to be a big senseless hoop-lah, we would all still be Jewish and slicing goat throats. Well, technically we Gentiles would still be worshiping in some heathen wretched nasty brothel-temple. Instead they sifted through Paul’s mail and other pieces of literature and chose to include everything that was consistent and relevant. But they were still only men, so whether they chose to or not, the Bible was ordered and pieced together in such a way that could not have happened without God’s deep deep involvement.
　
　
　
　
References:
1. Blueletterbible.org (Greek/Hebrew Lexicons)
2. Strong’s Concordance
3. New King James Bible
4. International Standard Bible Encyclopaedia
5. Josh McDowell’s Evidence that Demands a Verdict
6. Encyclopedia Britannica, britannica.com “Council of Nicaea”
　
　
　
　
　
　
　
　

You talking to me?

I'm starting a personal bible study, a literal walk-through tour of Greek and Hebrew texts according to only the most highly respected concordance and language lexicons, which will all be referenced as this study progresses. It's title, "You talking to me?" intimates that sometimes we can read our Bibles and when we get to a certain topic, theme or commandment, and we ask ourselves "Does this pertain to me?"

I want to address some of the more controversial topics, as well as some more cushy ones. Things like prayer in tongues, prophecy and what it means, the relevance of miracles in our world, missions abroad, and the role of women in ministry, among a few other questions I all-too-infrequently ask myself...

As I begin, I'd really like to hear feedback, and if I'm wrong!!! Tell me why, show me, give me evidence, send me scripture, because I don't want to BE right, I want to know what IS right.

My first study will be up in a few days.

The Dilemma

I do this to myself you know. It´s like the alcoholic who gets sick... I travel, I fall in love with a place, I don´t want to leave said place. The more I see the more I want to see. The more I do, the more I want to do. I´ve been mentioning "the list" here. Basically the list of things that I have to do, and places that I have to go. I´ve lost track of what exactly is on the list since I never write them down, but all the same, the fact that I lost track is evidence enough that I´ll never realize everything on it.

Update: I´ve been in Cartagena for three days (p.s. my flight back to bogota is tonight). The first night was spent wandering the city. A beautiful place with old colonial architecture. Nathan, don´t be jealous. The next day I met Jorge and Karen, the missionary couple, for lunch. They told me a few good stories about the mission that they started under YWAMs flag. This mission is located on an island a good 30 minutes by speed boat from the coast. Jorge dumped me at the pier and I made my way to the island. I wasn´t quite sure where to get off, they stopped at what I thought were garbage dumps, but were really people´s homes. It was a sad place, but the people ended up being some of the most amazing folks!

Finally, I recognized a sign that told me I was where I was supposed to be: Isla Tierrabomba, Bocachica. I got off and per the instructions given by Jorge, I hopped off the dock into the dirt and garbage, sought the first man standing by his motorcycle and asked for a ride. He and several others loitering by the dock are the offical taxi service of Bocachica.

He dropped me off at the mission where I met the most eclectic team of missionaries. Some from Bocachica, from Cartagena, from Germany, and one from Baranquilla. They made me feel quite at home, which was nice since I was to stay the night there. The contrast from the outside trash heaps to the pristine, tidy inner walls of the mission were comforting. It was a refuge from the refuse.

I was taken on a few tours and noted a few things: though there may not be food in a given shanty, there will be a t.v. No matter who you are, you will be greeted as if you´ve lived there for years. Football (soccer) is played relentlessly all day in a field planted with cowpie landmines. The people, while friendly, are not inherently good. There are girls of 12, 13 years of age who have 1,2,3 children, babies who wander alone in the neighborhood barefoot and sometimes naked. There is friendliness, but no loving care. Like most of these places, the children are starved for love. I was happy to give it.

I went home the next day and crashed. Went for dinner and then booked a tour to the volcano Totumo, which is a volcano, but instead of lava and ash, it´s full of mud. The legend goes that a priest would sprinkle holy water on the fires belching forth from what he felt were evil forces. He seems to have been successful and as a result I got to dive in for a mud bath. Swimming in mud in the mouth of a volcano has to be one of the wierdest things I´ve ever done... And one of the best! It was an indescribable sensation. First, there were guys in there giving "massages". Basically they swiped your arms, legs, back and tummy vigorously and then pushed you to the side in the thick sludge. Then, when all the healing powers of the mineral mud were soaked it was time to wash off. This was done down by a lake nearby where several old ladies with bowls awaited. The one I picked to assist me with my bath was a little aggressive. She said the one phrase she´d learned in English: take it off.

What?

"Taykidov"

Oooh, take what --? And before you could argue she was grabbing at your bathing suit and pouring water in your ears as she squidged her finger in there. It was disorienting and somewhat scarring. She finished and I sat in the shallow water with my swim clothes in my hands, eyes closed, fearing she was coming back. In her defense I never would have gotten as clean without her... but still.

The Mystery of the Wall

I am to stay inside the wall. That is the safety advice they gave me this week. I arrived in Cartagena yesterday and I am supposed to meet the missionaries of Proyecto Libertad at high noon under the clock tower. Sounds like a bad western...

So far, I have not seen much, but I thought I´d let you schmucks know I am a-ok.

The ballots are in

Well, not yet, but they will be while I'm here! Friday is the presidential election and the results could break out into a riotous chaos. There were already riots in Bogota the day that I came, my yesterday's bodyguard had a brick thrown at him in a crossfire between crazed voters and armored police. These guys look like robocops, I hope to get a photo before I'm out.

I have not been lucky enough to actually witness the riot, but I did run into a fellow in the middle of Plaza Bolivar who has been starving himself for nearly three weeks in protest of inequality for the running candidates. He is on the ballot and I simply walked up to the cluster of folks with my digital recorder (trying hard to look like I'm someone who knows what they are about) and they allowed my by to interview him. He and tree others were in chains, I should have asked what the symbolism was for that, since they are only penniless, not captives...

I felt bad for him since he of course is weak and hungry, but I couldn't help but ask how he proposed to change the world by starving himself. Ends up he didn't have a straight answer, he just wants people to know that the race isn't fair since the common man doesn't have money for things like radio spots, etc, and therefore cannot get their message out. Sadly his message was pretty sparse as it was. The idealism is admirable, but the method is senseless.

Coffee, Museums, Starvation, and Mojo

The Itinerary:
1. see the view of Bogota from the Monserrate hill. Check
2. drink coffee in the epicenter of coffee production. Check
3. eat something reasonably authentic (ajiaco). Check
4. visit at least three museums. Check
5. interview the presidential candidate who is starving himself in protest. Check

The coffee was disappointingly un-spectacular. These poor people don´t know better, they get what they get, but its mostly crap. I was hoping for the mecca-type experience in this cup of joe, but their "super strong" coffee reminded me of a sort-of strong folgers.

I ended up with a small collection of men to serve as body guards. They are all extremely friendly, but have this nasty habit of running of with Colombian women. Today, my rapescape artist is a heavily pierced Aussie who is apparently known for his party-hardy personality.

We´ve been walking around the city the whole day. He´s been here a whole month and hasn´t even visited the museums that are only 3 minutes from our hostal. He´s a good boy though. The others I´ve recruited are Aussies, Brits (there is an ungodly amount of Brits here), and an occasional latino from this country or that.

The museums all smell the same.

The Marie Jane, too. You can´t get away from the stuff when you´re travelling, but sometimes it´s a comforting aroma. You know that where there is marijuana, there isn´t likely to be much cocaine, which, by the way, that stuff was rumored to be an illusive commodity, but ends up being as available as the tamales the vendors are selling on the streets. All you have to do is ask... So I hear.

Now, it´s raining and I´m stuck in someone else´s hostal because I don´t want to get drenched.
I have to buy my plane ticket yet to Cartagena.
And make that hostal reservation.
I´m hoping to go out to this great place "chorro de quevedo" tonight. It´s just a little spot where folks hang out later in the evenings. I´ll let you know if and how it goes down!

Visions and Dreams

For those of you who don't know yet, I lost my job recently. I have one thing to say: "PRAISE GOD." It has inspired me to be diligent in seeking God for the dreams and the visions that have manifested themselves in me for more than a decade.

Two things I know for sure:
1. I want to do something missions-related
2. I want to write

The Plan:
1. Write, everyday all the time and sell it
2. Organize short term mission trips
3. Eventually write exclusively for/about missons

If you are interested in short term missions, or know missionaries who would like to promote their missions to U.S.-based churches or individuals, give me the heads-up. I do already have some missionaries on my heart and a few churches on the brain, so pray the dream comes true.

Thoughts on Christianese

I have heard many an argument that we shouldn't abuse the use of Christianese, but I contend that the lack thereof is a detriment to the growth of our fellow believers.

I've captured the thought in an analogy: If you were a refugee (sinner) running from the evil (Satan) that is your former country, you find yourself in a new country, a safe haven, a place of peace where prosperity abounds for those around you (Christianity). These people have a way of living that you wish you could experience, they work hard, they live happily, but there are some things that you simply don't understand. When you ask about it and you're trying to understand how it is that they reached this level of prosperity, they sort of scuffle around the topic, they "dumb it down." When you hear a word that you've never heard spoken in your home country and ask for a definition you get a watered-down breezy answer, yet you feel that this word has significance and a profound meaning. You're safe, and your relatively happy, but you know and feel that there is more, but you can't put it into words.

Is this what it it's like to withhold "Christianese" from growing believers? Or scoff at it's general use? I see how it can turn off an unbeliever, but to someone who hungers for more, we should constantly be feeding them the sustenance of this New Life. Beginning with the less fancy terms like, "born again," "salvation," "redemption," "grace." These are not only easy terms to grasp, but ones that are essential to really understanding what is happening in a new Christian's heart.

Later, we should not shy away from building a fine repertoire for ourselves and our yoked brothers and sisters: "prophecy," "intercession," "not by flesh, but by the spirit," "tongues." These are biblical "Christianese"terms. They have largely been discarded by the contemporary church because of the fear, I believe, surrounding what it would mean to (A) understand them and (B) realize that if they are biblical, we need to obey and live by them.

What would it look like to have a biblically-based, controlled ministry of prophecy? Or a small group that did not glance sideways, distracted, at a person quietly praying in tongues? What would it be like for this to become church normalcy?

I Corinthians 14

26 "What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church. 27 If anyone speaks in a tongue [...]someone must interpret. 28 If there is no interpreter, the speaker should keep silent in the church and speak to himself and God."

39 "Therefore, my brothers, be eager to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. 40But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way."

And your arguement of: "But I just don't have the gift"?
Weaksauce, Holmes.
Check these out:

I Corinthians 14

1 "Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy."

31 "For you can all prophesy one by one, that all may learn and all may be encouraged."

So why are we playing it safe? And is it really safe? Isn't denying the church these things asking for a weak church (verse 26)? Who will have the courage to prophesy to brothers and sisters if the majority of the believers in the church have never heard the term outside the context of Moses? Who will organize any of this in a fitting and orderly way if it's not even recognized as a true ministry? How are we to even learn to prophesy? How does one "pursue" it? I say, we should talk about it, using a language known as "Christianese," formerly known as "Scripture."

enough is enough

This life is a lonely one.

Even though friends abound, family's around,
and Heaven's Hound is on my tail,
I can't help but feel a little frail.
I dream of fullness
and get a mouthful of dullness

There is so much that I know is truely hard
that I don't fit in that deck of cards..
"Difficult" has for me always been in perspective
and then I dare to grow slightly introspective.
When I look close, and strain my eyes, I can see pain

Fear is my enemy of late, and the debate continues to be the weight on my shoulders.
My burden is heavy, the fire in my heart begins to smoulder;
He promised it would be light, but it's mostly dark here
My trap isn't Him, He's always made that clear.
"It's not you, it's me" I say, and I hear Him when I pray...

"Why? Sweet daughter. Your gift of freedom is not a ploy,
the bread you asked for I have given. Eat. Enjoy."

Yesterday, and yet today, I have chosen the stone;
I have tasted the bread, felt it give strength to my weary bones,
Self-pity is my deceit, and today I fall at Your feet.
Every breath is forced, my chest is heavy, my voice is hoarse
"Please, Lord, just a little more."

Stepping out

I thought seriously for the first time about closing down my blog... Then I remembered a long time ago I set up a dealy that counts my visitors. Despite the discouraging lack of comments on my blog posts, and considering that most may simply be accidental stumblings onto my blog due to a mis-typed subject on a google search, there is an average of about 3 people per day that supposedly read my blog, and one of my regulars is my faithful auntie.

I've decided to step out a little further. I'll continue to keep my readers updated on my personal goings-on here, and begin a more "professional" blog. This is in the making and I'm still working out the kinks like fear of abominable failure, so for now I'm going to use the term "professional" loosely.

Since my passions are art, photography, writing, culture, language and travelling, the focus of this blog-slash-website will be surrounding these subjects. What to narrow in on, I'm not sure yet. I would like to ask what the three of you think? Since this is the launch of my lifedream I am hoping for some feedback and suggested domain names. I know most of the cleverest are already taken and as soon as you suggest one it might be snatched up, but I could use a couple more heads on this one...

Your comments are appreciated!

What do you say to that?

Like many, I have my own excuses and justifications for everything that has gone wrong. I lost control of my own life a long time ago as I have been doing exactly what missionary Jerry McNally told me to make sure I never do: "You'll find you've just been waiting for life to happen to you." Riding the wave. He warned me that if I did, years later I would look back and think, "So I've done nothing."

I'm looking back, now. And I frequently wonder how much time I have left to change this sickly pattern.

Pastor Bob Merrit mentioned once in a message one Sunday two simple, powerful words: "Do something."

This has almost daily accosted my mind.

McNally's wife, Susy, was a little more encouraging. After confessing to her that I couldn't see the light at the end of my proverbial tunnel, she smiled at me empathetically and said, "2010 will bring new things for you."

I felt when she said this she Somehow really knew things would be different. If you've noticed, I've taken this to heart and my list of goals is not so much a New Year's "resolution" (to me that is a strong word), but a chewable guideline.

My mentor, Jamie, in a phone conversation said to me, "If you're still here in five years I'm going to have to beat you up," or something to that effect.

I would beat myself up long before five years have passed.

Even a potential beau reluctantly admitted to me that (one) reason he couldn't openly pursue me is because of my many dreams, that he "Didn't want me to settle."

(Firstly, I thought it was the classic, it's-not-you-it's-me schpeal) But, while at the time I highly regarded this man, and protested his statement, I've since discovered the justice in it. Affection could not make me forget what I've been dreaming about for fifteen years... Eventually, I would have harbored some little resentment.

Lastly, a missionary to Poland, Jack Stockdale, mentioned my church affiliation's mantra: Go, and make disciples of all nations. I can still hear the indignance in his voice, I believe of a righteous kind, when he said, "So why, then, is the default to stay?" Meaning almost no one becomes a Christ-follower, reads that verse, and "Goes." As a missionary struggling to win some of the hardest hearts in all of Europe I think his statement, while biased, is justified.

Although, do not misunderstand, God has placed Home on the hearts of many mission-minded people. Even so, in general, we tend to overlook our duty as followers of Christ, even to our own "Jerusalem." We tend to ignore the call of the Great Commission whether we are fearfully justifying our home-staying, or blatantly refusing to do what we ought.

So What?

I think what I want you to come away with is that the words of leaders, pastors, mentors, or people we are especially inclined to listen to are powerful. But their wisdom is made a mockery by our complaisence and apathy - especially when we know their words are Truth, and that they come from a Source much greater than themselves.

Pray for me.

New Leaf

My earthly Goals for 2010:

1. Publish at least three pieces, no matter what they are.

2. Sell at least one photo.

3. Pay off all debt by the end of May.

4. Work on developing my business (website, networking, building rep).

5. Travel to at least one country by myself.

It's not Real

A conference I recently went to, Faithwalkers, made me think on the subject of life after death, and life here on earth. First, I'd like to point out that on top of discussions, some songs, and a book I'm reading, I also happen to have this particular relationship with Jesus that heightens the following sentiments.

I dislike being here. I don't enjoy being forced to meander about in this body and disappoint myself and watch others like me living in a general state of pitiable fleshliness.

I comfort myself with the sole fact that it isn't real. Let me explain, because clearly things like pain, lonliness, and failure are very real. I feel I can endure these things for just a little while longer because in a few eternally measured minutes it will be over, like a bad dream.

My nephew, 8, was contemplating being a grandfather someday and my only reply was, "Just give it a minute." In a minute we'll all be asked to measure our lives against holiness, perfection. We have control over this dream, we can make happen what will, we can prevent, cause, destroy, build up, and live however we want. When we wake up, the decisions we've made will be measured against true reality. If we choose to ignore Reality in this life, we will be forced into an eternity of very real disappointment, pain, and failure. And these sentiments on earth will be a mere shadow of those felt far beyond the end of time.

The reality is that this body is imperfect and I will not be allowed to wake up to Heaven unless I acknowledge in my dream that Heaven is real. That I am weak, that I have nothing, am nothing, can never hope to be anything unless Christ, the One Reality, makes me perfect enough to live with Him. No one else can do that.

Anyone who disagrees has not taken an honest look at his own heart. I cannot be the only one who feels this wretched as a human. My only joy comes from knowing that I am loved, cleansed, and having acknowledged with my lips that Christ is the only Way I have eternity to look forward to, not to dread.