All week I've been reading about relationship, and how God's purpose is not to make sure we have all the right ingredients to get into Heaven. Rather He is waiting for us to see the same love that Jesus had in His eyes, the same light that Mary Magdalene saw... a yearning to know us.
I guess you could say I've been contemplating my future. My faithful counsel, Oswald Chambers, reminded me that the present is God's will for my life. As long as I am seeking Him, and not in the sense that I'm looking for the arrows on the road of life, but seeking Him I've already acheived His purpose for my life.
It was comforting. At the same time, because we are humans and if we don't make plans we do nothing, and then by the time we hit 80 we're looking back at our brief lifespan going, "What the heck? Where'd all my time go? I was supposed to change the world..."
I can't shake the feeling, and I'm pretty sure I never will, that I was made to be a writer. I've given up knowing what kind of writer. I like fiction, but I hate the idea of writing novels. I like real-life, but then it feels like self-absorption. I like narrative of other people's lives, but there isn't much going for the human interest beat from where I'm standing... So, I simply continue to write. Someday I'll turn the menagerie of nonsense I've compiled into something awesome, maybe even change the world.
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