Peanut Butter, Well Water, and Bambinos

There are lots of missions that make missionary work seem so wonderful, noble, and romantic. Just do a Google search out there for any mission in any category of your liking, "well digging," "orphans," "charity missions." They all make the work look like FUN. Especially when you get to "get involved" and "do your part."

I am here to tell you, honestly, that mission work is about as much fun as real life. In fact, I might categorize the practice as Real Life on Steroids. It is taking the stuff that you think is tough in your life, all the things you ever struggled with up until today, and multiplying it by a hundred. Suddenly life isn't about YOUR problems.

No one is really listening so much to what I'm going through anymore, or how much I really need my peanut butter fix - I mean really NEED it. Even I forget to check up on me, and after weeks of work, ministry, and practical stuff, I have to get with Jesus to really focus on my emotional condition.

On top of all that I've become a "mommy" to my mission - it's the only thing that comes to mind in conversations anymore: So-and-so's attitude is difficult to deal with these days / I can't get her to put on a sweater / she's struggling in school / in relationships with friends / getting her chores done / she can't forgive her mother / her uncle / person X who hurt her / she seems to be tired all the time / she's sick this week / she likes a boy... The list goes on. I'm a mommy on steroids. Of course the hormone is really the Holy Spirit because I really don't see how EMILY could make any of this better, how she could change the impossible, like the other day...

BREAKTHROUGH! One of my girls, Mireya, has been one of my particularly reserved girls, and used to become very easily upset. She has been opening up lately, obeying more readily, and even said, "I really want to change my attitude, Emily, and I need help." I about fainted from joy, hugged her, and encouraged her to keep deciding to obey and maintain a cheerful heart. She seems happier, she accepts correction without protest, and has even become a better friend to her dorm-mates. It is a small step, but I'm a little closer to understanding what it is for a parent to be overjoyed by the little triumphs.

Several of them have become almost enthusiastic about devotionals, and ask "what time" it will be, and they bring their notebooks so they can write down the stuff that impacts them. We talked about the Holy Spirit the other day, and they asked SO MANY questions!

These are the moments that make the hard stuff pale in comparison. These are the events that I will look back on and remember with a smile spread over my heart. This is the stuff missions is made of. If you're looking for romance or adventure, go back home. If you're looking for life and life abundant, well then, stick it out a while. Taste and see that the Lord is good.

20 Hard Ways (because there are no easy ones) to Change the World

The allegories here are of the Knights of the Order of St. John (circa, the Middle Ages). The Knights, interestingly enough, were all of noble blood. I am ashamed to say that I read about them for the first time just this week. I had not heard of them before, and considering how much I read, my library is either shamefully under stocked, I am ignorant, or the world has done its very best to hush the fact that the only Christians not directly involved in the heinous crusades are also the Christians responsible for inventing the hospital, and incidentally for saving the world from tyrannical Islamic rule.

Principle #1: Heap Coals on their heads

The Knights of the Order of St. John were devoted first and foremost to the sick and wounded, and as their post was in Jerusalem during the height of the crusades, they treated just such men from either side of the “holy” war.

They never gave an inch of ground during an attack, but their methods were merciful.

Principle #2: Make yourself a nuisance

They fought in dangerous and Turk-infested seas surrounding the province of Rhodes, thus preventing their enemy from creating a comparable naval power in order to overcome the Knights.

Principle #3: Don’t waste His time

The Knights also wasted no time fortifying their headquarters, the heart of their strength lay in Rhodes. In their first battle 600 Knights faced 70,000 Islamic warriors, yet the French leader d’Aubusson refused to yield even in the face of sure defeat. He had used the time to prepare.

Principle #4: Expect crap in your backyard

Spies had made their way into the city and successfully undermined the Knights strategy. There was pressure from within (spies) and without (attacks). Failure all about them, and they refused to budge. To the death.

Principle #5: When you’re falling, keep standing up

The Janissaries closed in and it appeared they would finally gain victory. The Grand Master of the Order, D’Aubusson was wounded in several places and had an arrow in his thigh as he was held up by his fellow Knights upon the rubble. In their gleaming armor, standing aside the banners of the Order, they appeared to the Turks to be gods. The Turks were suddenly terror-stricken, and the fear spread like wildfire. They fled the Island.

Principle #6: Even in peacetime, focus on the “W”

Their focus was not on winning the battle, no matter how spectacular, they still resolved to continue in their campaign to win the war.

They did not attribute much importance to their new renown, known as the “saviors of the continent.” They still knew the cowardice of Europe, and still kept their vows to stand against the enemies of Christ.

The leader, d’Aubusson died, but his vision and leadership insured the fortress would become even stronger than it had before the first siege.

Principle #7: You will meet your match

The Sultan Mehmet whose first attacked failed – as a result of prayer – left the throne to the new tyrannical power the Ottoman Empire, Suleiman “The Magnificent.” And in the far corner stood the successor of d’Aubusson, the Grand Master of the Order, l’Isle Adam. Both men educated, both highly trained in the ways of war, both strategically brilliant.

Principle #8: Sure, accept help, but don’t expect it

The Sultan’s timing was strategic, no one would help because the Church was too busy tearing itself apart. He sent 700 ships and 200,000 men to attack 500 knights and around 1,500 militiamen.

Principle #9: Stick to your guns

Major setbacks during this battle – the Turks setting their standards on the fortress wall, a major morale crusher – did not discourage them. Instead, it heightened their determination and they were rewarded for their sweat with a Turkish retreat.

Though they had expected defeat, they determined to die rather than to surrender. Their determination paid off.

Principle #10: Humility is not the same as humiliation

The Sultan surrendered and then offered amnesty and a favor – taking them off the island. Recognizing their weakness, and the opportunity to be able to regain strength and fight another day, they accepted. They were offered the island of Malta, and though the blessing came in the form of a relatively inhospitable chunk of land, they accepted.

Principle #11: Don’t go to sleep

They immediately started turning the sheep pastures into a stronghold that would eventually save Europe, and by extension, the whole world.

They also continued to make themselves a nuisance to the Sultan. L’Isle died, and Jean Parissot de la Valette became Grand Master of the Order.

Just when it seemed the Sultan had begun his campaign to take over the world, the Knights had drawn enough attention to themselves for their raiding, pirate work, and general looting of the Sultans supplies.

Yet the Sultan knew that they could not be defeated without great cost.

Principle #12: The same ol’ grit as before

Internal struggles within the church raged on all sides, rendering their allies completely useless to the knights, but they did not lose focus on the enemy.

Principle #13: Blessings like to wear disguises

This time, the knights were spread out over several forts and cities. The Grand Master was able to create the best possible strategy from what appeared to be an unfavorable situation, and in the end was exactly what led to their victory.

Principle #14: Redeem your shame

Fort St. Elmo became the first point of concentrated attack, and before imminent defeat, a few knights broke away from the fighting to tell Grand Master La Valette. La Valette became angry that they left their posts, and rather than send them back would send other knights in their place. Recognizing their shame before their leader, they begged to return to St. Elmo, and to their death.

They returned to where Dragut was pouring fire in from three sides and would not desist for three weeks.

Principle #15: Let the enemy’s pride be his fall

Then the Turks sent their best Janissaries to attack, yet they were pushed back, suffering heavy casualties. So Dragut set up another bombardment with every battery that he had, and attacked again the next day. When the dust cleared, the cross of St. John still flew above the ruins.

This small fort with a few men sorely wounded the Sultans army. General Pasha realized his mistake: they had spent their best men on a small fort when the larger, looming St. Angelo lay ahead.

Principle #16: Draw the line somewhere

The Turks decapitated the dead knights, bound them to crosses and floated them out to harbor before the fort. No terms for peace this time.

Principle #17: There will be no weak points

Pasha was smart, and seeking a breach he found it, but he was still defeated by the Knights. The endurance and tenacity of the Order had been underestimated.

Principle #18: Believe in miracles

The knights had been severely reduced in number when Pasha released his final attack, and it seemed doom was impending. The remaining Knights were worn thin, and braced themselves for the final swoop, when the Turkish trumpet sounded for retreat.

A small group of cavalrymen had attacked the Ottoman base camp. The Turks, confused and miscalculating their numbers because of the amount of damage they caused, had pulled every man back from St. Angelo.

Principle #19: Things will eventually pile up in your favor

Don Garcia of Sicily sent a dispatch letting La Valette know he would send troops. La Valette had heard many empty promises before, and simply vowed to fight to the death.

A mine surprised the Knights from below the fort, a breach was made by tunneling underneath and planting the mine. This did not alter the Knights’ tenacity and the Turks were still beaten back. Confidence was shaken.

Dissention arose among Turkish ranks – what was supposed to be a battle of a few days had stretched over several months. Their morale waned, and trust in their leadership was beginning to dissipate.

Then Don Garcia’s promised fleet arrived – only half the promised troops, but since the Turks had by then only captured “tiny” St. Elmo, they weighed their options and left the island.

Principle #20: Never take your eye off the target

While the Christian nations’ armies were fighting among each other, the Knights of the Order of St. John never lost sight of the real enemy.

∞

Some fun details:
1) The Sultan Suleiman had split the command three ways. There was disagreement between them on more than one point.
2) De Valette had the crops harvested and the wells poisoned to cut off supply to the enemy.
3) De Valette expected them to arrive at St. Elmo all the time, and had strategically placed many more Knights there than the small fort afforded.
4) Dragut reportedly died from a cannon shot – from the Turkish side – during the first phases of the attack on St. Angelo.
5) Fort St. Michael and Fort St. Elmo were both constructed within a short six-month period after Dragut’s first attack, the result of mere frustration because of the Knight’s raiding ships and supplies.

DayDreaming about RealLife

I have been thinking lately about my past… sort of re-living it in a way. I think of the good times, the bad, the good, the ugly, the wonderful, the horrendous… Mostly it comes in spurts, without dwelling on it it all just turns up in my head. Stuff about my travels, reveling in my adventures, the great times I used to spend looking for – and finding – great times. Mostly though, I think of it in terms of bravery. I used to be braver – more brave.

I was telling Gabby about the one time we got some hippies to lend us their tent so we could sleep on a practically deserted island. I reminisced about Buenos Aires and the time I disastrously tried to join an acting class while I was there. I thought of the time a friend and I got in a van with a pretty random bunch around midnight to go to the top of a mountain where they were night-rafting on level 4 rapids. I remembered chawing coca leaves for the energy I needed to get through Day-Three of the mountainous hike to Macchu Pichu. I recall the wondrous group of people I met in Mendoza – from Ireland, Enlgand, D.C., Argentina… I dwelt a bit on the parts I felt more “Christian” – Cuba, Chile, Mexico.

Only in the past couple of days I’ve been dealing with my secret yet brief indulgences in feelings of insecurity. I told Gabby how I felt and I guess since she has a man now she doesn’t feel so bad when people overlook her, but I still revert to listening to the devil’s lies about how there must be something wrong with me because I’m usually last or not on the guest-list to anywhere. I usually face facts and realize, “Yes, it’s true, but there’s gotta be a reason – God knows.”

From emotional to practical news, the girls were turning out to be a bunch of unruly ragamuffins and I realized that I needed to be stricter with them. Good thing! I see how it doesn’t help them to “let things slide.” I wonder if the pendulum didn’t swing too far to the other side of the Grandfather though. I figure once I reestablish who’s the boss, I may let up a bit. For now they must think I was suddenly stricken with a tyrannical fever because they can’t even step foot out of the room if there’s something on the floor or a blanket is slightly rumpled on a bed.

They are all wonderful little pre-pubescent hormonal young flowers. It sounds as though it might be a nightmare – for some I bet it would be – but it only reminds me of when I was “one of those” and I’ll sometimes call up Mom or Dad just to apologize for having been a teenager at one time. I also understand now why my behavior made them laugh sometimes.

On a non-ministerial note, I found my new Dunn Bros. Coffee! Guicho (pronounced “WEE-cho”) and I were talking and I told him about this café I found in Cholula where they roast the coffee fresh everyday and sell whole beans by the kilo. He got excited – he’s my only rival when it comes to love of coffee – and it looks like we’ll probably go with Raul on Friday.

My friendship with Guicho reminds me of the book by C.S. Lewis about the different kinds of love (“Four Loves”) where he talks about friendship being built on common interests. It’s so true! There are only about three topics about which we talk incessantly – coffee being numero uno. We also like to do smart people things like read. It’s nice to have intellectual conversations once in a while.