DayDreaming about RealLife

I have been thinking lately about my past… sort of re-living it in a way. I think of the good times, the bad, the good, the ugly, the wonderful, the horrendous… Mostly it comes in spurts, without dwelling on it it all just turns up in my head. Stuff about my travels, reveling in my adventures, the great times I used to spend looking for – and finding – great times. Mostly though, I think of it in terms of bravery. I used to be braver – more brave.

I was telling Gabby about the one time we got some hippies to lend us their tent so we could sleep on a practically deserted island. I reminisced about Buenos Aires and the time I disastrously tried to join an acting class while I was there. I thought of the time a friend and I got in a van with a pretty random bunch around midnight to go to the top of a mountain where they were night-rafting on level 4 rapids. I remembered chawing coca leaves for the energy I needed to get through Day-Three of the mountainous hike to Macchu Pichu. I recall the wondrous group of people I met in Mendoza – from Ireland, Enlgand, D.C., Argentina… I dwelt a bit on the parts I felt more “Christian” – Cuba, Chile, Mexico.

Only in the past couple of days I’ve been dealing with my secret yet brief indulgences in feelings of insecurity. I told Gabby how I felt and I guess since she has a man now she doesn’t feel so bad when people overlook her, but I still revert to listening to the devil’s lies about how there must be something wrong with me because I’m usually last or not on the guest-list to anywhere. I usually face facts and realize, “Yes, it’s true, but there’s gotta be a reason – God knows.”

From emotional to practical news, the girls were turning out to be a bunch of unruly ragamuffins and I realized that I needed to be stricter with them. Good thing! I see how it doesn’t help them to “let things slide.” I wonder if the pendulum didn’t swing too far to the other side of the Grandfather though. I figure once I reestablish who’s the boss, I may let up a bit. For now they must think I was suddenly stricken with a tyrannical fever because they can’t even step foot out of the room if there’s something on the floor or a blanket is slightly rumpled on a bed.

They are all wonderful little pre-pubescent hormonal young flowers. It sounds as though it might be a nightmare – for some I bet it would be – but it only reminds me of when I was “one of those” and I’ll sometimes call up Mom or Dad just to apologize for having been a teenager at one time. I also understand now why my behavior made them laugh sometimes.

On a non-ministerial note, I found my new Dunn Bros. Coffee! Guicho (pronounced “WEE-cho”) and I were talking and I told him about this café I found in Cholula where they roast the coffee fresh everyday and sell whole beans by the kilo. He got excited – he’s my only rival when it comes to love of coffee – and it looks like we’ll probably go with Raul on Friday.

My friendship with Guicho reminds me of the book by C.S. Lewis about the different kinds of love (“Four Loves”) where he talks about friendship being built on common interests. It’s so true! There are only about three topics about which we talk incessantly – coffee being numero uno. We also like to do smart people things like read. It’s nice to have intellectual conversations once in a while.