How to Explode in a Week or Less

This week has been the clincher: I'm the biggest doofus to roam this planet. First, I'd like to say that there has been a lot on my mind. My sister is getting married and I'm the maid of honor, my brother is in Iraq, I don't have a job and I'm in a world of debt from school loans, my fiancee is 4 million miles away and my mom suddently decided she didn't quiiite approve of the plan to - you know, MARRY my fiancee, on top of it all I have midterms the week before I'm supposed to spend 10 days in Mexico with less-fortunate orphan children. So as you can see, a lot going on in my life now, lots of things to occupy my mind and make me create unlikely run-on sentences!

Starting two weeks ago I was dropped at my favorite bus stop on a chilly morning and taking my handy-dandy Argentina leather jacket with me headed out to conquer the world - or at least Hispanic Literature. An hour later, hot and hungry I stop by a place that I assumed would automatically become my favorite lunch-spot since it serves sushi and bubble tea. I order my sushi and bubble tea and sit down, placing my prized jacket on the back of my chair. Long story short, the sushi was waaaaaay below par and when I got up to leave I twisted out of my chair, tray in hand and breezed out the door, rushed to the bus stop and halfway home.... Shiiiiiiiiiit! I left my lovely, black, highly inexpensive leather blazer hanging like a big piece of juicy cow-skin candy for anyone to help themselves. Stranded on the bus, I 411ed the place and begged the manager to see if it was still hanging on its gourmet candy display... no.

A week later, I'm stressing out and thinking all has simply gone wrong in the world - at least the world surrounding events in my life - and my dad blesses my socks off with this lovely flash drive.... a 512er and... *holding back a tear... one day last week in the language lab, in a hurry to write a paper and a bit late to class, distracted by a classmate, I left it there. Sticking out of the computer's USB port like a big chunk of licorice for the first unsuspecting gluttonous fat-kid bully to pull it out and take it home to mistreat or over-eat it or whatever.

Then a few days ago (this one, thank God, has a happy ending), my sister was gracious enough to give me a ride to my favorite bus stop... again. I hop out of the car, umbrella in hand, and wildly wave the bus down while trying to dig in my wallet for my bus pass.... wait, my bus pass? Where was the stupid thing? Not in my wallet!?! Since when? Dejected, sad, slowly breaking down, a little wet and late for class, I waved the bus on by and with my head hanging dangerously low, slodged my way the 15 blocks to my class.

Some people say I'm just a whiner... I say I'm cursed. PRAY EVERYONE! For meeeeeee