Tortilla?

God has been working hard on me. Little by little everything that my mom and sister have always said to me is resurfacing and this time God is opening my eyes and removing the veils. There are many things that I could go into so you would know what it's like when God grabs ahold of your spirit and wrings it out like a wet dish towel... Well, what the hay! ...

First, the number one priority of my God for my life is that I sit down with him for a couple of hours each day for a chat. I fell way behind in that when I used to say, “I'm a Christian.” I was forgiven and posessed the promise of life, but my relationship with Him was to say the least, lacking. There is a new place I've found that is the most precious of places, a place where my spirit will scream in frustration, sigh with a deep sense of peace, sing a love song to my beloved, or dance with a heart bursting with joy for being able to spend a moment with my Lord. It's a secret place, it's a special place, it's a place where distractions are not welcome or allowed. It's a place of glory and a place where power is born. If anyone feels without hope or without love, or if life simply lacks life ... I urge you to find that place and learn to love our faithful friend Jesus, our loving Father, and our ever-present Holy Spirit. I'm only beginning and my priorities have begun to change and my worries are beginning to ebb away, and a very real power has entered into my world.

A real life example of this power is still amazing me every time I stand up or sit down. After a 5 hour bike ride, my knee felt seriously abused and injured. Literally each time I stood up or sat down pain would shoot through it and with a horrible cracking sound and a movement of the knee cap that was highly abnormal, I considered withdrawing from the infamous Extreme Challenge. Last Saturday our challenge was a race, boys against girls, and the night before my knee was worse than ever. I discussed quitting with one of the girls and without making any decisions we went to bed. I couldn't sleep and an hour or so later my other leg (sans the knee problem) was wide awake and nerves were shooting energy through my leg making it want to twitch (restless leg syndrome). I got up knowing that I had to walk it off. I went out to our patio/garage and walked in circles for 10 minutes and had a short conversation with God. He asked why I was in the Extreme Challenge and if I was doing it for him or to impress the people in the ministry or for myself? I think I was originally doing it for others, then it became a personal challenge, and that night God asked again and again, “Why can't you do it for me? Don't you think I could give you strength to do anything? Why not this too?” A bit ashamed I decided first to run the race the next day, and second to do it with every step giving glory to my God.
I woke up with a still-sore knee. Before the race was to begin we went to a women's breakfast where Fran, the wife of pastor Denny from River of God Church gave a talk about the secret place where we could find our lover and friend and with freedom and love be able to worship and pass the time with Him... God saw fit to bless me with a fresh revelation of His love for me, the special love of a Father who wants to protect me from everything and heal every hurt. I began to claim His love for me, first that it cover my spirit and strengthen my soul, then that it would fulfill my heart's desires for a love real, faithful and true, and then I claimed that same love for my body. In tears because my spirit was overflowing with that love and my heart was bursting with this revelation, I became aware of an intense desire to dance before Him and shout my love for Him. I can't explain what happened next, but I felt that if I stood up at that moment that there would be no pain. Fran's talk ended with an alter call for prayer as she felt an impartation of the spirit of grace and supplication would be in accord with God's will for us that morning. I stood up to move to the front and not only was there no pain, it didn't make that horrendous cracking sound and the knee cap felt oddly in a different place (apparently the correct place). I felt an odd cushion that seemed to be bracing my knee from the inside and preventing that pain. There was a short time of worship where I was able to dance for my Lord and His mercies that are new every morning.

I shouldn't leave out the small detail that as we ran (11 minute miles) for 2 hours, 45 minutes of the way climbing a short mountain, I was still praising him and claiming his love for me in a special way - that His love would sustain my body, give me energy, take away muscle cramps or shortness of breath. Most of the time I felt I was flying and as though I could run for days... not once did I have a problem with my knees! A song in my head kept the rhythm and pace from faltering: “Jesus' love never fails me.” The main detail that I want to leave you with is that THE GIRLS WON THE RACE! Though we were given a substantial head-start the prediction was that the boys would pass us and win. Praise God for faulty predictions!

As I mentioned in my last blog prophecy is a big deal here and we practice it often, many times simply to excersize our spirits in that way. It's amazing what God does when we allow Him to use our spirits to minister to others. The most recent development in my case is that God wants to test my responsibility. I want to explain something: I lost the keys to our house and the keys and locks all need to be changed if we don't find them, I misplaced my favorite nalgene bottle and have been without my regular 2 liter daily intake of water, I turned in my USB with homework on it and can't remember if they gave it back to me or if that too is missing. Part of my homework is that I have to give two interviews that a couple of times I've had the chance to do and didn't. A personal challenge our Extreme Challenge slave-driver gave me was a project or a meeting planned by me and followed through. I planned a separate-the-boys-and-girls meeting so that I could talk openly and honestly to the girls about their role as women of God. Because of the same race that we won in the afternoon we were late to the meeting and though I had the chance to call and report I didn't call the youth pastor with whom I had planned the whole thing. By pure grace we arrived in time for the last worship song and the meeting began and I was able to give my talk. To top it off I've been waiting to do my homework until the last hours before it's due and been faltering in the area of excellence that is expected of us. I forget at least one important article each day, be it a notebook, my art supplies, a jacket or my tennis shoes. Basically, if I wasn't humble about my ability to keep track of things, keep myself in order and control halfway complicated situations, I sure am experiencing it now.

The prophecy part came today. One of my classmates has been praying for me specifically for the past week and occasionally God has revealed some things to him for me that are really uplifting and encouraging. Today he approached and without an introduction said, “God has heard your prayer and wants to bless you with the desire of your heart, but first He needs to test your responsibility and you need to work on that in order to handle the blessing He wants to give you.” I've been praying about my role at Esperanza Viva and if I do stay where would my position be. My heart leans pretty far towards the older girls and I sometimes will say that I wish I could stay and be their supervisor.

Responsibility. The Word does say that when we come to Christ the old is gone and new has come... My prayer is that my old irresponsible and careless self be gone and discipline and responsibility become my trademarks.