leave it all behind

I'm getting tired... I'm really getting sick (I think its a sore throat), but mostly I'm getting sick and tired. Some revelations come in weird packages... this time it was in the form of a Mexican. My gripe this week has been good-byes. This is not new news to those of you who have read my blogs before. I've mentioned the red stain on my sleeve that keeps getting bigger and bigger with each time I have to turn my back on it all. There are some people I meet that I think I've known forever. My heart - pearched precariously on that sleeve - decides that that person is worth my time, affection and attention, regardless of how I might feel in the inevitable end. Chunks of my heart are scattered all over latin-america, a trail of love-blood with my DNA going from city to city. I'm not talking about falling in love... I'm talking about the person that crosses your path with nothing more than a smile and a song and your hooked, I'm talking about the city that makes you feel like you were supposed to have been born there instead, I'm talking about the feeling you get when you fit... You want that person's friendship, conversation and company; you want to move your life to that city; you never want to leave that feeling behind. My issue is that when it happens to me I like to overdose on all of the above... I meet a person and I douse myself in their company and conversation, I like a city and I take it to the ultimate level and move there, I fit with someone or someplace and just as I'm deciding that this is finally it, another chunk of my heart drops off my sleeve and lands in another place and I leave the last bloody pile of chunks behind and that heart - hanging in ribbons of shredded time and effort - says, "I want to stay, but I simply can't."